Rough and Unpolished!
These songs were recorded in 2005 in a studio at a radio station I used to work at after hours with my friend, Kenny Woods, who played the keyboard on with me while I played acoustic guitar. They are only sketches. I have intended to use these as something to build from with professional recordings for a few different CD/album concepts later on. As it takes time to save the money, and time is a premium with three children now (August 2008 as I write this), who knows when more formal recordings will happen. In the mean time, I’d like to share them. Feedback is welcome. Hopefully you’ll hear some of these in a more produced/polished manner with the band and without my errors later on. Some of you will recognize songs that are now in our live concert sets that have evolved since the time of this recording. RTB guitarist, Darrel Diehl, has recently acquired some home studio recording equipment, so we aim to put some new stuff down and share more in such a manner soon. So stay tuned (as always, pun intended)!
Also, it is probably worth mentioning that some of these songs are really old (pre marriage — one should be obvious) and some were brand new at the time of the recording session. So they span quite a bit of time and periods of my life growing in Christ and growing a family.
PS: Kenny Woods just winged it on the keys that night on these songs. He’s amazing, isn’t he!?
Lyrics
Have Mercy On Me
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2003 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
This song is based on my meditation of Luke 18:9-14.
It is intended as personal mediation/prayer, and not a “worship song”.
CHORUS:
HAVE MERCY ON ME
HAVE MERCY ON ME
HAVE MERCY ON ME, for I am a sinner.
HAVE MERCY ON ME, HAVE MERCY ON ME
VERSE 1
For Thou, O LORD, would be right to strike me down.
For Thou, O LORD, should turn Your face away from me
For You are holy, like a fire. And I’m the reason for Your scars.
With my sin always before me, it’s hard to believe You …
CHORUS
VERSE 2
For I, O LORD. I don’t have a leg to stand on.
For I, O LORD have no defense to give to You.
For I am guilty, guilty as charged. But You paid my ransom with Your Son.
Now He’s always before You, so You can always
CHORUS
BRIDGE
In this state of grace I often fail You – Feel like I have to make it right somehow.
But like the tax man, afraid to come to You to pray: I beat my breast, hang my head, and humbled, I say
CHORUS
Walking With My Eyes Closed
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2002 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
I think we all go through dry spells when we don’t turn to God’s Word for our daily sustenance and we thirst for the want of abiding in Him deeply. I was in one of those seasons when I wrote this song.
Verse 1
It’s been days since I turned to where the answers are
It’s been weeks since I stopped … and asked for direction
Seems like God and my friends are very far away
I’m feeling lost
And lonely
And in need of connection
It’s almost like I’ve been…
CHORUS
WALKING WITH MY EYES CLOSED
Unsure of where I’m going
WALKING WITH MY EYES CLOSED
Feeling without knowing
God gave me two eyes to see
If I don’t use them the blame’s on me
He put His Word in my hand and in my heart
So I don’t have to be in the dark
WALKING WITH MY EYES CLOSED
Verse 2
My footprints make circles in the sand
I might as well be standing still
I’m ending up where I don’t belong, again
Grasping at the air
In need of reflection
Lost my sense of where I am…
CHORUS
I’m feeling lost
And lonely
And in need of connection
It’s almost like I’ve been…
CHORUS
Through the Storms and Joys of Life
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 1998 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
This song was written after I enjoyed a concert I walked home from in the city of Rochester, NY, wishing my soon to be wife was with me to enjoy it together. Missing her. Eager to have her with me all the time by God’s union into one flesh.
I saw a man tonight, dressed in black and full of smiles
A traveling band tonight; they had traveled many miles
The crowd cheered on, moved by rhythm and by song
I thought of us, and how we’d be there ‘fore too long
Walked home alone tonight, music ringing in my ears
Thought how much I would like to have you with me here
So full of fire, love, the same one you have known
This heart you hold, and treasure as your own
(La dai dai dai…..)
I wait to be joined with you so we can move along
I know that you’re waiting too, you sing your bridal song
Nothing could be more clear; my mind is sound and true
Yearning to have you near, God making one of two
CHORUS
I’ll be yours, you’ll be mine
I’ll be yours, in the blessing of God’s eye
Take my hand, hold it tight
Through life’s storms and through the joy of life
(Lai dai dai dai…)
We’ve much to do until Christ comes
And raises all His people to be one
Until then, we’ll celebrate this ministry and swim
I in you, and you in me
CHORUS
The Fight Song (I’ll Go On Loving You)
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2005 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
Wrote this after one of my first serious disagreements with my wife. Ephesians 5 popped me on the head as how I am to lead my wife as Christ loved the Church, and we worked it out. This sort of came out of that experience: God chastening me with His Word, my obeying Him, and being moved to affirm my bond to her by God and my word. (For those of you wondering how it is we didn’t have a major disagreement until the copyright date above considering we were married in 1998, I know it was years before that but this probably represents when I finally put it down on paper!)
Verse 1
I’ll go on loving you
I’ll go on loving you
No matter what we say or do
I will go on loving you
Verse 2
I’ll go on holding your hand
I’ll go on being your man
I’ll go on taking a stand for you
And I will go on loving you
Bridge
When the hard times have begun
And we’re feeling far away
When the storms of life have come
And it seems they’re here to stay
LORD knows, I’ll never leave
I will always be around
Woman, to you I cleave
And by His Word I am bound
Verse 1
Ain’t the Same
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2004 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
I was rewarded by work with a trip to LA that included some work presentations to attend. Was able to take my wife and 8-month-old daughter at the company’s expense. Really looking forward to it, together. Daughter got the chicken pox that week and had to leave them both behind. Had fun once I was there (Got my picture taken with Sponge Bob at Universal Studios — was the only non-child in line), but I was pretty bumbed on my trip out on the plane. Thankfully, got to take them with me the following year. Oh yeah, I went Leon Redbone on ya with this one!
CHORUS
Ain’t the same without you near me
Ain’t the same without you here with me
I pass the lonely hours thinking of you
It ain’t the same without you near me
Ain’t the same without you here with me, my dear
Without you near, it ain’t the same
Passing over patches of Phoenix
In the belly of this big metal bird
The rolling hills of Pittsburgh far behind me now
Where I left you with our little baby girl
CHORUS
Now I know how much I hate to leave you
I was getting ready to have so much fun
But now I just want to buy you and baby presents
And come back to your kisses and your hugs
CHORUS
Carry On
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 1999 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
A song with an amillenial eschatology (before I knew what that mean or could articulate it — just tired of the futility of life striving under the curse and longing for heaven). Found I could carry on knowing Christ was carrying me and the journey this dark world has a blissful end.
I could walk for miles and miles
And never get much further on
I could search for fame and power
And in my heart still feel alone
I could ride the waves of life
Just to crash upon death’s shore
And in the end of my journey
Find darkness lurking at my door
I could build a fortune’s worth
Of artifacts and memories
Store them all up in my heart
And let them swell up into seas
But when I die they’ll all be gone
What shall I carry then with me?
The way of righteousness is life
Along that path is immortality
But I start to sink
When I realize I’m dying, dying, dying
But then I start to sing
‘Cause You gave me eternity
So I’ll keep on trying to…
“CHORUS”
Carry on (Carry on)
Until I see You face to face
I’ll carry on (Carry on)
Until I meet Your warm embrace
I’ll carry on (Carry on)
Until Your light is in my eyes
I’ll carry on (Carry on)
Until You raise my body to new life
No longer will I hope and trust
In temporary things that fade
But now I put my treasure in heaven
And there my heart will remain
I will not worry ‘bout tomorrow
Each day has trouble of its own
God gave me what I need in Christ
And I will worship Him
Forever at His throne, and so
“CHORUS”
…raise my body
…raise my body
…to new life
…to new life…
Almost Home
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2003 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
Another song longing for the consummation of the Kingdom and the glory of the saints.
Some of my friends have gone ahead
Wish that I could have said goodbye
I am waiting here instead
Wondering when will be my time
‘Cause…
CHORUS
I’m almost, ALMOST HOME
I’m almost, ALMOST HOME
I’m waiting for my Lord
And I’m almost, almost home
I’m ALMOST HOME
Sometimes it seems to me
Life’s just one great big game
Can’t explain everything
Everything stays the same
But…
CHORUS
Morning comes and morning goes
For ya know it, each day is done
But I’ve heard what will unfold on the Last Day
So I put my hope in kingdom come
And….
CHORUS
Melanie’s Song (Dancing with Jesus)
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2003 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
Melanie Bierma was a dear saint who died young in an auto accident probably ultimately due to hear health issues. She was the maid of honor in our wedding. Jenn still cries sometimes thinking about her, missing her. This was only a few years after our wedding. And within the same year, a 12-year old boy, also named Grant, died. He was also in our same church family in New York (although Jenn and I had moved to Pittsburgh before both losses). I was so impressed with the witness of Melanie’s legacy at the memorial service we were in town for – such as young ladies on her college campus she had invited to Bible studies now professing Christ. It was also a peculiar night the way the moon looked within the clouds (almost a circular window around the moon as I recall) that added to my melancholy. This kind of situation makes issues of death and life, heaven and hell, more sobering. Praise the Lord Melanie loved (loves) Jesus. For those who may be uncomfortable with the “dancing” thing, relax — it’s obviously metaphorical.
There was a ring around the sky
The night we said goodbye to you
It circled round the moon that shown through the clouds
And we knew, God was looking down on us
As Jesus danced with you
You had a passion full of purple
In how you shared the Savior’s love
And those braces never held you back
From living full, and fully for God
CHORUS
Now you’re dancing with Jesus
No braces on your legs
Twirling and laughing
Waiting for me
You ask me not to weep for you
But may I weep for me for just a while
I’m thinking of your smile
And the beauty that is you
And how I’ll be missing you for now
CHORUS
Hope in Eternity
Words and music by Grant Van Leuven
© 2002 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
Struggling with this world, comforted by the hope of Heaven. Guess it’s a recurring theme for the Christian troubadour.
CHORUS:
Nobody said it was gonna be easy
Nobody said it was gonna be free
Haven’t you heard, life isn’t fair?
But we’ve got HOPE IN ETERNITY
Life is hard
Sometimes I feel like checkin’ out
From the world
Forgettin’ what it’s all about
Things seem bad
When I keep lookin’ down at my feet
Kickin’ round
At the fears I can’t seem to beat
But then I think, that…
CHORUS
Will things change?
It seems like there will never be
Better times
Apart from giving up on me
Unless I
Get a grip on my life and learn
I have time to reach for the things I yearn for, ‘cause…
CHORUS
Carry on
Are the words ringing in my ear
Life is hard, but there’s nothing I need to fear
Jesus reigns! Are the words I need to repeat
While I wait for the promise I know’ He’ll keep
And so I sing…
CHORUS
HOPE IN ETERNITY
HOPE IN ETERNITY
You know He died to set us [The elect, don’t sweat it] free
And we’ve got HOPE IN ETERNITY
To Your Glory, Lord (I Walk On)
Words by Jennifer Van Leuven
Music by Grant Van Leuven
© 1998 Dumb Sheep Music
Song Sketch Intro:
Jenn wrote this one. I just had fun putting it to music. Naturally, observing God’s creation induced praise. It is the way God’s children respond to His general revelation.
I walk on (to Your glory, Lord)
I walk on ( to Your Glory, Lord)
The leave of the trees clap Your praises, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The grape vineyards lead the way, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The crickets and the birds lift their voice, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The billowing clouds in the distance call from Your glory, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
And I walk on
I walk on
To Your Glory Lord, to Your glory Lord
The willow bows to Your majesty, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The pine stands firm in Your unfailing love, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The flowers lift their faces to You, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
The sun wraps it’s loving arms around the earth, and I walk on (to Your glory Lord)
And I walk on
I walk on
To Your glory Lord
To Your glory Lord!